Wedding Vows

Boz and I are having a Catholic wedding and therefore cannot write our own wedding vows. This is a bit unfortunate as I find few things more romantic than two people taking the time to think through and write down the fundamental reasons they choose each other. Boz is well aware of my feelings on this but also knows that I do want a traditional Catholic ceremony, so we haven’t discussed the issue at all. Warning: this post is about to get SUPER CHEESE, so unless you’re his mother, you probably want to stop reading. Have a great day!

So…anyway…Mrs B…and perhaps Grandma,

After recounting the day’s misadventures over dinner last night, I started thinking about all the funny experiences that I’ve stumbled through over the past 5 weeks. Like any red-blooded woman, I sat there and overanalyzed this to the point of insecurity, and then asked Boz “Hey babe? Do you ever wish I could handle my daily adventures with a little more grace?” Looking seriously skeptical (as is his way whenever I ask a question that could clearly hold a ‘wrong’ answer), he replied with “Uhmmm. Hmmmm. What do you mean, exactly?” (=well-developed stall tactic). I answered, “Well I didn’t head to the museum today with the hopes that it would turn into a comedy routine. I just feel like I’m always getting into, like, super-goofy situations and, you know, people read about this and they could…like… associate this with you too, you know?” (For the record, this is exactly how I speak. I am a Valley girl who was raised in suburban Ohio. I can’t explain this.)

Without missing a beat, B set down his chopsticks and looked at me, “Ab, you’ve been here for 5 weeks and you’ve spent every day really in the thick of it. You’ve experienced the real culture of Japan by just being brave and jumping right into the everyday life of Tokyo. You could have spent your time in the expat shops and restaurants, and then you would have nothing to offer the guests that visit us here. Instead, you’re really learning about Japan and you’re making me laugh every night. I’m pretty sure that is the very definition of grace.” And then he immediately resumed eating his Thai food and talking about the GDP.


I thought about his answer as I got dressed this morning. I’m now completely fine with not writing our own vows. In a way that transcends explanation, these spontaneous 30-second conversations sprinkled throughout daily life feel like mini wedding vows. I promise to recognize and treasure them…every day…forever.









One of us buys the Japanese knife...and one of us uses it at cooking school