Monkey Business

The highlight of our Thailand trip was, hands down, the Elephant Nature Park. (Wait. That was an egregious understatement. It was actually the highlight of my life.) I am working on an elephant article for the sanctuary and will post it on RV when it's finished. In the meantime...I must give another Thailand experience its well-deserved screen time.

Boz and I spent one morning on a private kayak tour of a mangrove forest in Koh Lanta (a southern Thai island).


Here's how that went down:
(...in some form of the present tense, as I find stories more enjoyable that way.)


We get settled into our kayak and agree to take it slow and just enjoy the morning light seeping through the trees.



After a leisurely hour, our guide informs us we are nearing an area where monkeys congregate...and sometimes swim out to kayakers with hopes of receiving a snack.

Almost immediately, Boz spots a monkey and makes the rookie mistake of pointing him/her out to me while simultaneously paddling AWAY. I (frantically) begin paddling in the opposite direction and yelling (to the monkey), "Come on, buddy!! Jump in!!!"

Are you kidding me!? Look at that little piece of pie!!

While all hell is breaking loose in our kayak, our guide has two monkeys in his and is encouraging me, "Go ahead! It's ok. Just stay away from the big ones!"

This comment does nothing to assuage Boz's concerns and he yells, "Babe!! We are NOT letting a monkey onboard. We will observe FROM A DISTANCE." I'm not going to repeat my reply because I'm pretty sure it directly contradicts all of my wedding vows.

This, for some fortuitous-yet-questionable reason, is enough to get our guide to ignore all bro code and throw me a baby banana...which immediately catches the attention of two monkeys.

And then this happens. (Those are my feet).

Look at that beautiful, long, skinny tail.
It was draped across my leg for a while.
I was too excited to take a picture.
We paddle along like this for about ten minutes. I am blissed-out with two monkeys in my lap, thinking "My life is officially complete," while Boz is sitting behind me whispering, "Do. Not. Touch. the monkeys" about 150 times.

Despite their excellent swimming abilities, this is how the monkeys decide to return to the trees:

...and I die from a fatal blow of cuteness.

We eventually continue on our way and paddle by the epitome of cool:
Elderly woman fishing...alone...using ALL appendages...for her dinner. My idol.

And then we happen upon an establishment named The Fish Farm.


We disembark at The Fish Farm and spend an hour or so chillin' with a couple of weather-worn Thai fishermen.





That swing is WAY high...so Boz volunteers me to test it out. Shady husbanding, if you ask me.
 (I jump right on, of course...as I have almost no self-preservation instincts.)


We end the outing by eating our body weight in fresh watermelon and pineapple...and then paddling back to the start point as fast as possible as a storm chases behind.

Epic.
Solid 2nd place finish in the 'Vegetables Take Thailand' adventure..