Year 1. Lesson 1.

We are super busy over here. We (and by 'we' I definitely just mean 'I', as Boz is rarely actually in town) are re-doing our condo. I thought this process would take...oh...give or take two weeks. We're going on two months now and it still looks like a bomb went off in our living room and kitchen. Fortunately, I love interior design and have found this experience to be nothing but enjoyable. When I'm not assisting the multitude of handymen coming and going from our place, I have been partnering with a friend to establish a nonprofit (much more on that when our kickstarter video is finally ready), volunteering on a farm, and tackling an immense writing project. (Obviously I'm also maintaining my devotion to the Oxford comma, much to the chagrin of my husband.) If I were anyone else in the entire world, I would now type 'I'm kind of overwhelmed'...however, truth be told, I am always overwhelmed and as I type this, I am still alive, so that comment would be redundant..

On that note: this post is just a little update on one of the (many) things I've discovered during our first year of marriage. Our anniversary is next weekend. We'll be celebrating in New Orleans and I've just been reflecting recently on all the things I learned this year.

Lesson One:

 I adore this quote by Steven King: "Quiet people have the loudest minds."

This pretty much describes my existence. Before moving in with Boz, I lived in complete silence as the constant chatter in my brain provided ample distraction. I didn't own a TV for about six years, absolutely never turned on a stereo, and only answered the phone if I knew it was my sister calling. Since moving in with B, I have had to 'adjust' (I use that term so, so incredibly loosely) to an environment in which the TV is common background noise EVEN IF NO ONE IS WATCHING IT.

Boz also enjoys music...which is unfortunate as I gave up music as a 2015 New Year's resolution. We live in the 'Live Music Capital of the World!' and I have spent nine years trying to keep up with all the new indie bands exploding onto the scene....and I'm just done. It's impossible to keep up with all the new releases and my extreme aversion to noise makes the discovery process just a nightmare, so I've limited my 2015 selection to Dawes and the Dead. Before we left Tokyo, I informed Boz he is in charge of all musical discovery this year and must cue me in when/if he finds any objectively incredible new bands or songs. He was fully on-board right away and has since introduced me to four new songs...all of which I adore....so this arrangement seems to work well for us. However, we are still left to face the fact that we do not share the same attitude towards noise in general.

I'll paint you a little picture of our day-to-day operation:

Scene One.

Boz: Arrives home. Gives wife a kiss and changes into comfy clothes. Enters living room, turns on TV and THEN WALKS INTO KITCHEN TO TALK TO WIFE AND IGNORES TV.

Abby: Brain explodes due to abundance of stimuli. Dies immediately.

This is how I feel every time we're at home (because of the TV), in the car (because of the stereo), at any bar (because Boz enjoys bars that host bands), or on a hike (because Boz likes to sing and/or talk while experiencing the outdoors). The struggle is real, folks. I am always thinking about one million things...none of which I want to actually discuss...and I have no room left for shows, songs, or casual conversation.

I admit it is a bit curious we never addressed this pre-marriage. It simply never occurred to me that someone would welcome unnecessary noise in addition to their own  incessant internal dialogue. I stand corrected (and Boz stands incredulous)...and we are working to find a compromise.



In the meantime...




This was at a karaoke bar in Shibuya. I thought this would suffice as  enough noise for the rest of my life. Boz  viewed this experience as just the beginning.

Please stay 'tuned'...